How do you find balance?

Ann Curry from the Today show recently had a segment asking this question and sharing how she finds balance.  When her Dr. asked the question of her, she responded that she found balance through her children and job.  He told her that this would not be good enough, that we would all live more fulfilled and maybe longer lives if we can find our passions.


She said for her, that was taking pictures wherever she went.  I can certainly relate to her interest and the concept that "photos capture moments and stop time.  They immediately say something about people, places and events."  A friend of hers mentioned how it was a meditation focusing on everything around you.  Nice!
Photography brings me balance by allowing me to capture moments I can remember later.  As the family photographer, it connects me more to them.  I enjoyed studying black and white photography in college and look forward to developing the interest more.

Other every-day ways I find balance include cooking, cleaning (immediate sense of achievement!), organizing (helps me see more clearly), yard work (being outside, burning calories), and humor (watching a funny show like SNL with Porter).

The segment on the Today show suggested we all spend a day a week on what we love.  What a nice concept!  What would you do if you could take a day a week to spend on your interest?  Maybe we could start with at least a few minutes a day and build from there...

Talking deeply, being happier

It has been reported recently in the New York Times that those who talk deeply are happier.  I've assumed this at some level and have always had a desire to engage deeply in conversations.  Blogging about finding balance and meaning is my way of talking deeply (and not) to anyone willing to read my muses.
Finding others with such an interest is not very common, particularly in the dating scene I experienced.  Small talk can get boring fast if it doesn't lead to more depth.   To engage in deep conversations, people have to be willing to expose themselves at some level.
The article states that "substantive conversation seemed to hold the key to happiness for two main reasons:

• human beings are driven to find and create meaning in their lives
• we are social animals who want and need to connect with other people.

By engaging in meaningful conversations, we manage to impose meaning on an otherwise pretty chaotic world.  And interpersonally, as you find this meaning, you bond with your interactive partner, and we know that interpersonal connection and integration is a core fundamental foundation of happiness.”
If talking deeply has not been your thing, you can experiment by trying to do some more every day and see how you feel, perhaps with your significant other.  You may find that you two become more intimate.  If you are male, I can almost assure you of it as a female.  I don't think I've ever heard a female friend complain that her mate spoke too deeply with her.
Source:  New York Times

The Science of Happiness

According to a feature on The Today Show, 50% of how happy we feel is based on genetics. We can control the other half.  There is a level of hard-wiring in terms of how happy we feel, but we can work around it.
Perspective, attitude, and optimism matters.  There are ways to be more optimistic and studies have shown that optimists are much happier.  They appreciate what they have and don't think about what they don't have.
Tips on being happy

• 5 random acts of kindness per week
• keep a gratitude journal - focusing on what you are thankful for keeps you in that positive space
• forgive - it releases you from a psychological imprisonment
• write someone a thank-you letter - pen to paper, not email.  The process of thanking someone makes a difference.
• getting enough sleep
• having fun
• think about what's true for you, e.g. don't force yourself to find all your happiness from motherhood if that is not true for you.
• make your bed!  There is something about the tangible act that helps people feel there is order in their lives and that they are starting their day right.  I have been trying to tell my husband and son this!  I am a stickler about a bed being made first thing.
• strong relationships - joining a group, throwing a party, and just showing up.

Source: The Today Show, 4/30/10